Every time, Nigerian youths, Nigerian youths! Wetin we do sef, we kill Oyinbo man pikin? Haba!
The other day, I de waka my own jejeje, for Maryland Under Bridge, na him trouble find me come o. Yeye. Him nor know say me, I be Warri boy, confirm. Wetin come consine me with anybody, when I de mind my own business, jeje?
Before-before, for Maryland Under Bridge, na diffren-diffren basket chair, with orishirishi animal cage you fit see. Even if na lion cage you wan’ buy, ’e dey. And na we youths dem, been de make am. Any kind chair o, so far na cane chair, him dey, gidigba, full ground.
Some time, I go just siddown for corner, begin de admire handwork of we young Nigerians, wey get diffren-diffren talent like san-san, wey we God of Africa just dash we. And nor be say the youths dem go school go learn am o. Na just like that. We Naija get correct, hardworking youths, abeg, because na this thing dem de take chop, take sponsor themself, pikin o, papa and mama o, plus everybody. Na big industry the place kuku be and na plenty people de see chop from there.
Before-before, even dog, with him chain, you go see am buy for there. Bird nko? Parrot o, canary dem o, weaver-bird dem o, anything. Many, many things, you fit buy for there sef: sculpture, artwork, fruits dem, like Oyinbo ampoo, anything. Sotay, the place come turn to tourist market and Oyinbo sef de come there, come buy market like tie-and-dye cloth dem, carry go dem country go sell, sef. Even Chinko people dem, sef. And if you see those boys and girls wey de sell market for there, before, you go know say khaki nor be leda. Dem busy gan and dem de make money for there and na so dem take robust like Odeku bottle of before-before. Dem life been de flow, correct.
Nor be him I nor come know wetin de happen, come waka go Maryland Under Bridge, carry my friend wey just relocate to Lagos from Sapele, follow body. Him just gather small money, come hire all those kind BQ self-contain for Iyana-Ipaja then, come meet me say, him wan’ buy small-money cane chair, as bachelor consine.
Wonders shall never end! Overnight, Maryland Under Bridge come resemble onoda thing wey I nor come sabi again o. I come de look my friend, my friend come de look me back. Ah-ah! Wetin come happen now? Everywhere come clear like Muritala Mohammed Airport runway. I nearly see Third Mainland Bridge from under there, sef. If nor be say as I sabi Lagos reach, I for think say I miss road. Or, if to say na Saturday morning, I for say whether na Friday night hangover still de worry us.
Sharply, I just carry my friend waka kurukere, go meet one chap, like that, wey relax for near one church, like that, for the opposite side of the flyover, for there.
“Old boy, na wetin de happen for here, where all those boys wey de sell cane chair and orishirishi item dem, for here?”
As him turn to answer me, na him one busybody appear from nowhere, come join himself for the gist wey nor consine am.
Him come shout, “Yes! So, na una be the people wey de buy market for here, de follow dirty Lagos, de cause go-slow? I go arrest una today, make una go explain una self. Una know who I be? I be Task Force!”
My friend just relook me again, me self, relook am. Shuoh! Where this one from burs’ out again? I first look him trouser wey de fly for him waist. Then, him shoe, nko? Him lucky say all those dog sellers dun commot for there. All those dogs for porshue am, sake of that shoe, come teach am correct lesson.
I come halla one question for am: “Ogbeni, you say you be Task Force? For which area your office dey, de do una task forcing? And na wetin you wan’ arrest us for sef?”
This time around, na the man wey we first ask the question, come reply: “Oga, na government dun drive all we people wey de do cane chair for here, commot o. Dem say we de cause nuisance for here. I even hear say na Chinko people dem go bring from China now, wey de take machine weave the chair gan.”
“Holy Periwinkle! So, na Chinko people from far, far, good to weave cane chair now, come collect we youths dem small job wey dem de manage for take see chop money, come render them nuisance for dem own country?”
Chai, this we country dun pafuka beyond repair o! Nor be the same government wey say dem wan’ provide million of job for we youths dem?So now wey dem turn them to nuisance, overnight, make dem go begin tiff? Why the government nor come give them loan to take order the machine gan, from Chinko land, if na machine chair come de reign now? I nor just believe wetin I come de hear so. E be me like say make I just spoil something, sha.
Na him I come ask the young man onoda question again: “So, na wetin una come de do now, wetin una wan’ do for this matter, finally?”
“Wetin we wan’ do?” him reply, “we wan’ fight government, abi wetin we wan’ do? Na rest, we de rest ke, just siddown de look dem. Abi, wetin poor man wan’ do?”
Him just take him cap cover him face back, come return back to him sleep, sharply.
Na him I take that vex turn round make I hook the yeye man wey say him be Task Force: “Eh-heh, where that tiff?”
For wiah! Whether na spirit before o, we nor come know again. But ‘e be like say as we follow the chap wey de relax, de talk, the bobo dun take sense look as we eye dun red pass danfo danger light, come vamoose, jeje. Task Force, kor! Which kin’ Task Force? Na God save am. Him look two full-born Delta guys finish, na we him wan’ come take learn huzzling? Him for take him own eye, see him ear, that day. Yeye de smell. Task Force, kor, tax clearance, nii.